Tasty Science with a Side of Baloney

Welcome to Blastropodcast! I'm your host, Dottore Balordo, legendary Man of SCIENCE, and master of the Podchamber. I command your ears to listen to my podcast and your brain to accept its wisdom.

Comedy! Science! Malapropisms! An army of hapless guests and much more! Listen to an episode, won't you? Yes. 

Return of the King pt. 3 - A Muffed Movies Special!

Sophie, Dave, & Mark finish what they started 5 hours ago. Enjoy the fatigued, often obscene conclusion of Return of the King!

Pre-order Mark's novel: The Silent Scream of Melania Trump!

What's the Story?

There is a village nestled between life and death. For the obedient, it is a bastion of order and tradition. For Melania Trump, it’s a nightmare.

The Silent Scream of Melania Trump follows a fictive First Lady through a land of perpetual night, where cursed beasts prowl and occult forces encircle every aspect of life. To earn her freedom, Melania must choose between murdering for a tyrant or committing an atrocity on those that most need her protection.

What makes this story unique?

Oh! I forgot to mention that our heroine’s also fused to a psychic parasite with a foul mouth and a jones for human misery. And when people speak forbidden thoughts their bones liquefy and their guts race out the first available exit. Cool, but what about Donald Trump? In our story’s reality, he’s part of a secret order of cosmic samurai indentured to the monstrous shogun. Frankly, the shogun never meant for that to happen - even supernatural dictators make mistakes.

This book is written for readers who want to escape to impossible places, laugh, dread, and walk away with meaningful grist to chew over in the real world.

Why Melania Trump?

This story isn’t just about boneless ghouls and gigantic skeletonsIt’s about tyranny, the lure of complacency, and the terrible cost of resistance. The real Melania Trump is a polarizing figure, whose silence provides a framework upon which we hang our assumptions. But it’s easy to forget that she grew up under communist rule. She leveraged her resources to transform herself and rose to prominence. This story explores the uncomfortable reconciliation of her former self with the woman she has become.

Sounds cool, right? I’d love to hear your feedback - the more specific, the better! Thank you for reading all of this - let’s escape this nightmare together!

This is part three of a three-part episode.

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This episode is brought to you in part by Cards Against Humanity. Rejoice.

Blastropodcast is a member of the Chicago Podcast Cooperative.

This episode features "Quirky Dog" by Kevin MacLeod (
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

Muffed Movies is a fan production which celebrates film through parody.

The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King was written by J.R.R. Tolkien. Its film was distributed by New Line Cinema.

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