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Blastropodcast

Tasty Science with a Side of Baloney

Welcome to Blastropodcast! I'm your host, Dottore Balordo, legendary Man of SCIENCE, and master of the Podchamber. I command your ears to listen to my podcast and your brain to accept its wisdom.

Comedy! Science! Malapropisms! An army of hapless guests and much more! Listen to an episode, won't you? Yes. 

Blade Runner pt. 1 - A Muffed Movies Special!

Alcohollywood's Clint Worthington & Jared Latore help Mark run down futuristic goofs as they muff Ridley Scott's gritty sci-fi noir Blade Runner! Happy October, you Replichamps!

This is part one of a two-part episode.

Pre-order Mark's novel: The Silent Scream of Melania Trump!

Visit our Patreon site! Join us! Get bonus content!

Muffed Movies & Blastropodcast clothing and other stuffs are now available! Visit our Threadless store.

This episode is brought to you in part by all of those Cards Against Humanity. Noice.

Blastropodcast is a member of the Chicago Podcast Cooperative.

This episode features "Quirky Dog" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/.

Muffed Movies is a fan production which celebrates film through parody.

Blade Runner (1982) was produced by The Ladd Company, Shaw Brothers, & Blade Runner Partnership. It was distributed by Warner Bros.

ep.48 No Paint, No Gaint w/ Libby Schreiner

Libby Schreiner (Koch Brothers Mystery Show, the Onion) helps Dottore understand what all that colorful stuff on the walls is. Spoilers:it's mostly sausage.

The Silent Scream of Melania Trump is available for pre-order on Inkshares! Order your copy today, for tomorrow may never arrive! 

Check out our Patreon!

Where's the BPC merch? At the Blastropodcast Threadless store

Blastropodcast is proud to be a member of the Chicago Podcast Cooperative.

This episode is informally brought to you in part by the egregiously understated whippersnappers at Cards Against Humanity

This episode features "Quirky Dog" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/.

Return of the King pt. 3 - A Muffed Movies Special!

Sophie, Dave, & Mark finish what they started 5 hours ago. Enjoy the fatigued, often obscene conclusion of Return of the King!

Pre-order Mark's novel: The Silent Scream of Melania Trump!

What's the Story?

There is a village nestled between life and death. For the obedient, it is a bastion of order and tradition. For Melania Trump, it’s a nightmare.

The Silent Scream of Melania Trump follows a fictive First Lady through a land of perpetual night, where cursed beasts prowl and occult forces encircle every aspect of life. To earn her freedom, Melania must choose between murdering for a tyrant or committing an atrocity on those that most need her protection.

What makes this story unique?

Oh! I forgot to mention that our heroine’s also fused to a psychic parasite with a foul mouth and a jones for human misery. And when people speak forbidden thoughts their bones liquefy and their guts race out the first available exit. Cool, but what about Donald Trump? In our story’s reality, he’s part of a secret order of cosmic samurai indentured to the monstrous shogun. Frankly, the shogun never meant for that to happen - even supernatural dictators make mistakes.

This book is written for readers who want to escape to impossible places, laugh, dread, and walk away with meaningful grist to chew over in the real world.

Why Melania Trump?

This story isn’t just about boneless ghouls and gigantic skeletonsIt’s about tyranny, the lure of complacency, and the terrible cost of resistance. The real Melania Trump is a polarizing figure, whose silence provides a framework upon which we hang our assumptions. But it’s easy to forget that she grew up under communist rule. She leveraged her resources to transform herself and rose to prominence. This story explores the uncomfortable reconciliation of her former self with the woman she has become.

Sounds cool, right? I’d love to hear your feedback - the more specific, the better! Thank you for reading all of this - let’s escape this nightmare together!

This is part three of a three-part episode.

Visit our Patreon site! Join us! Get bonus content!

Muffed Movies & Blastropodcast clothing and other stuffs are now available! Visit our Threadless store.

This episode is brought to you in part by Cards Against Humanity. Rejoice.

Blastropodcast is a member of the Chicago Podcast Cooperative.

This episode features "Quirky Dog" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/.

Muffed Movies is a fan production which celebrates film through parody.

The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King was written by J.R.R. Tolkien. Its film was distributed by New Line Cinema.

Mark's New Novel - The Silent Scream of Melania Trump

Dearest scientists,

I am writing a horror novel about Melania Trump. I know, right?

It is a horrific adventure through a nightmarish incarnation of feudal Japan. To escape, Melania will have to survive unholy magic, unrelenting monsters, and a megalomaniacal shogun. This story is about the consequences of choosing the security of oppression over the suffering of resistance. 

The Silent Scream of Melania Trump is available for pre-order on Inkshares.com (it's like Kickstarter for books). If 250 people place pre-orders, Inkshares will publish the novel in e-book and on-demand printed formats! If we don't hit 250, your money will be completely refunded (just like a Kickstarter campaign). Please click here to order the book.

My book is also entered to compete in Inkshares' horror contest. If it is in the top 3 tier of pre-orders by October 31st, it will be published and get all sorts of extra marketing and distribution. Fellow Our Fair City writer, Jim McDoniel, won Inkshares' contest last year and now he's a human-titan!

Thank you very much for reading! 

- Mark 

 

Rue Britannia 4 w/ Grant Howitt - Summer & The Spire

In this double-stuffed episode, we soak up the learn-rays of British summertime traditions. Also, Mark interviews Grant about his new roleplaying game The Spire!  So much episode, you'll need a doggy bag.

1. What's all this then? - A trickster humiliates the citizens of Pound World. 

2. How's your father? - 99 Flake, Cream tea, Village fetes.

BONUS TOUGHPAD BREAK!

3. Crusty jugglers - Summer watch.

BONUS BONUS THE SPIRE RPG INTERVIEW!!!

Plugs:

The Spire Kickstarter begins on 7/18/17 - Google it in defiance of our High Elf oppressors! 

Support Grant on Patreon!

Support Mark on Patreon!

Want BPC merch? Go to Blastropodcast Threadless store

Blastropodcast is proud to be a member of the Chicago Podcast Cooperative.

This episode is casually brought to you in part by the confoundingly self-possessed youths at Cards Against Humanity. Thanks Obama.

This episode features "Quirky Dog" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/.

Return of the King pt. 2 - A Muffed Movies Special!

Sophie, Dave, and Mark explore the ludicrously doomed characters of Minas Tirith through parody and song. Prepare yourself for sultry Hobbit jazz, Dwarven Twinkie tales, and so many goddamn disquieting meat sounds. Now get on your feet. Get up. And make it happen.  

This is part two of a three-part episode.

Visit our Patreon site! Join us! Get great bonus content!

Muffed Movies & Blastropodcast clothing and other stuffs are now available! Visit our Threadless store.

This episode is brought to you in part by the 400 North May-niacs at Field Notes.

Blastropodcast is a member of the Chicago Podcast Cooperative.

This episode features "Quirky Dog" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/.

Muffed Movies is a fan production which celebrates film through parody.

The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King was written by J.R.R. Tolkien. Its film was distributed by New Line Cinema.

 

Return of the King pt. 1 - A Muffed Movies Special!

Dave Stecco of Blurry Photos and Science with Sophie's Sophie Shrand help Mark pack the ground beef of parody into a glistening meatloaf of entertainment in this, the first part of the final chapter of Lord of the Rings. Clap on your child-sized armor, because this is going to be a wild journey!  

This is part one of a... three-part(?) episode.

Visit our Patreon site! Join our Patrons, get cool bonus content.

Muffed Movies & Blastropodcast gear is now available! Visit our store.

This episode is brought to you in part by the Gondorian rangers at Field Notes.

Blastropodcast is a member of the Chicago Podcast Cooperative.

This episode features "RetroFuture Nasty" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/.

Muffed Movies is a fan production which celebrates film through parody.

The Lord of the Rings: Rerturn of the King was written by J.R.R. Tolkein. Its film was distributed by New Line Cinema.

ep.47 Pot's All Folks w/ Betsey Palmer (Our Fair City)

Our Fair City's Betsey Palmer plants seeds of knowledge about Cannabis in Dottore's mind-garden. Learn how it works and why it's still so darn illegal in the US!

Help us thrive! Visit our new Threadless store and our Patreon page. Get rewards for your support!

 This episode is sponsored by Know Your Company, the software tool that helps you know your company better.

Blastropodcast is a member of the Chicago Podcast Cooperative.

This episode features "Quirky Dog" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/.

CONTEST! Win a Thing From Japan!

Blastropodcast is happy to announce that we are holding a contest - the Thing From Japan! Share your favorite episode of Blastropodcast for a chance to win something bizzare & awesome from Japan. 

Contest ends 4/18/17. Winner announced 4/20/17. 

Rules & details are here.

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Ravenous pt. 2 - A Muffed Movies Special!

Sebastian Orr and Mark return to conclude the cannibal classic Ravenous. It's time to find out who got screamed.

This is part 2 of a 2-part episode.

New Muffed Movies gear is available now on our Threadless store! Wahoo!

Are you having fun? Help keep us going - become a Patron.

Blastropodcast is proud to be a member of the Chicago Podcast Cooperative.

This episode was brought to you in part by Cards Against Humanity. Thanks Cards!

Ravenous was distributed by Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation.

Muffed Movies is a fan production which celebrates film through parody.

Ravenous pt. 1 - A Muffed Movies Special!

Sebastian Orr guides Mark on a murderous mountain mission to mine some goofs from the ghoulish cult-classic horror film, Ravenous. Wendigo!

This is part 1 of a 2-part episode.

Want more goofs? Check out our bonus track, free on our Patreon page. Please consider supporting our show!

Awesome Blastropodcast apparel is available now through our Threadless store.

Blastropodcast is proud to be a member of the Chicago Podcast Cooperative.

This episode was sponsored by Cards Against Humanity. Thanks Cards!

Ravenous was distributed by Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation.

 Muffed Movies is a fan production which celebrates film through parody.

ep.46 GMOs w/ Claire Friedman

Cards Against Humanity's powerhouse & the Chicago Podcast Cooperative's champion, Claire Friedman has farm in her veins and a fire in her belly. Listen and learn as she helps Dottore unearth the exciting and confounding relationship between genetic engineering and mouth fuel.

Keith Hand edited the main section of the show. You know, the part that sounds good! He is a hero of the ages and a marvel among men. Thank you Keith!

Like the show? Become a Patron and help us continue to make you laugh! Visit Blastropodcast's Patreon page.

Want some BPC swag to wear around the lab? Peruse our new Threadless shop. 

Blastropodcast is proud to be a member of the Chicago Podcast Cooperative.

 This episode is sponsored by Cards Against Humanity. Thanks Cards!

 The Blastropodcast theme song was composed by Stephen Poon. Thanks Stephen!

This episode features "Quirky Dog" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/.

Rue Britannia 3 w/ Grant Howitt - Merry Britsmas!

BPC merch is available now! Visit the Blastropodcast Threadless store and see what our diligent workshop of kobolds has crafted! 

In today's Rue Britannia we explore British Christmas traditions, Grant lies a bunch, and Dottore gets steamed. It's a doozer.

1. What's all this then? - Alexander Van der Bellen wins Austria's election, defeating fascism forever. 

2. How's your father? - Britsmas quiz!

3. Crusty jugglers - The Hell Owl and other figments.

We Support Grant on Patreon, why not join us in doing the Lord's Work?

This episode is brought to you by in part by Field Notes. The Age of Notebooks is nigh.

Become a Patron of BPC today and earn special rewards - Patrons in December get a free BPC T-shirt! Visit the BPC Patreon page to learn more.

Blastropodcast is proud to be a member of the Chicago Podcast Cooperative.

This episode features "Quirky Dog" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/.

Highlander Pt. 2 - A Muffed Movies Special!

Dave and Mark goof themselves through the Highlander's epic and swordful conclusion. There can be only FUN!

This is part 2 of a 2-part episode.

Like the show? Become a Patron of Blastropodcast and get cool bonus content! Visit our Patreon page to learn more.

Blastropodcast is proud to be a member of the Chicago Podcast Cooperative.

This episode was sponsored by Cards Against Humanity. Thanks Cards!

This episode features "Scattershot", "Ossuary 5 - Rest", and "Quirky Dog" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/.

Highlander was produced by Cannon Films and Highlander Productions Ltd. and is distributed by EMI Films and 20th Century Fox.

Muffed Movies is a fan production which celebrates film through parody. 

Emergency Bonus episode!!! - "Save the Lost Dance" - A Muffed Movies Special!

We could all use a good, rejuvenating laugh right now. Please enjoy this emergency release of the lost episode of Muffed Movies: Save the Last Dance. Tremendous thanks to Andy North for muffing it with me so very long ago.

Please support my work while The Man still allows it to exist. Contribute a few coins to Blastropodcast's Patreon page.

Blastropodcast is proud to be a member of the Chicago Podcast Cooperative.

This rush-released episode may have been sponsored by Cards Against Humanity. Thanks Cards Against Humanity?

Save the Last Dance was produced by MTV Films and released by Paramount Pictures. 

Muffed Movies is a fan production which celebrates film through parody. 

ep.45.2 Ken Hite & Cannibalism + "In Defense of Podcasting"

Happy Halloween! Kenneth Hite's piquant conversation with Dottore noshes onward into the guts of pathological cannibalism. A monstrous mountain man, a cannibalistic Countess, and a wendigonous writer make fine grist for this unsavory episode's diabolical discourse!

This is part 2 of a 2-part episode. 

Express your eerily undying support for the show! Visit Blastropodcast's Patreon page.

Blastropodcast is proud to be a member of the Chicago Podcast Cooperative.

 This episode is sponsored by Cards Against Humanity. Thanks Cards!

 The Blastropodcast theme song was composed by Stephen Poon. Thanks Stephen!

This episode features "Quirky Dog" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/.

ep.45 Cannibalism w/ Ken Hite

Kenneth Hite (games designer and writer) chews the fat with Dottore about cannibalism. Learn the reasons behind this ghoulish phenomenon and, more importantly, uncover the dark secret of Qui-Gon Jinn's space feast!

This is part 1 of a 2-part episode. Why? BECAUSE KEN IS SMART AND HAS MUCH TO TEACH US!

This episode was sponsored by Cards Against Humanity. Thanks Cards!

Please feed us before we eat our broodmates! Visit Blastropodcast's Patreon page.

Blastropodcast is proud to be a member of the Chicago Podcast Cooperative.

The Blastropodcast theme song was composed by Stephen Poon. Thanks Stephen!

Highlander pt. 1 - A Muffed Movies Special!

Dave and Mark conjure up an irreverent celebration of invincible rogues and nonsensical brogues as they muff the 1986 Sci-Fi classic, Highlander. You're about to sword up from the gourd up!

This is part 1 of a multi-part episode.

Want more fun in your ears? Impale us with your support! Visit our Patreon page.

Blastropodcast is proud to be a member of the Chicago Podcast Cooperative.

This episode is brought to you in part by the brave submarine captains at Basecamp.

This episode features "Quirky Dog" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/.

Highlander was produced by Cannon Films and Highlander Productions Ltd. and is distributed by EMI Films and 20th Century Fox.

Muffed Movies is a fan production which celebrates film through parody. 

ep.44 Hot Rocks w/ Keith Hand

Radiation! Nuclear engineer (and possible Martian replicant) Keith Hand returns to legitimately teach Dottore all about radiation. So put down your Sackemon Go mobile platform and screw on your learning cap - we're about to meltdown from the belt down!

This episode is brought to you by the electric mystics at Basecamp.

Please help us grow! Visit Blastropodcast's Patreon page.

Blastropodcast is proud to be a member of the Chicago Podcast Cooperative.

This episode features "Quirky Dog" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/.

Rue Britannia 2 w/ Grant Howitt - A Bonuts Episode

Grant Howitt reconvenes with Dottore for another chat about all things Britsy. PLUS A FREE GIFT FROM GRANT!!!

1. What's all this then? - The tragedy of Boaty McBoatface

2. How's your father? - "Leftenants", "Vicars", and "Bobbies"! Cor, buckle me tight!

3. Crusty jugglers - Church Grims and Devil Doors

Grant successed Unbound RPG! Follow the link to order the full version!

This episode is brought to you by Capsule Force from our friends at Iron Galaxy.

MAKE MY MONSTER GROW! Please check out our Patreon page.

Blastropodcast is proud to be a member of the Chicago Podcast Cooperative.

This episode features "Quirky Dog" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/.